Creation and the still mind

Every writer has her own rituals: music, food, chair, spot at the local coffee shop that isn't next to the guy talking on his cell phone nonstop. I don't particularly care about music or food, but I like to be facing a window with some sun streaming through (or rain on some days if I'm in the mood).

One thing I think most everyone can agree on is the importance of having a still mind.

To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.  

-Lao Tzu

But how to achieve that when all around you is chaos?

I wish I was Zen.  I wish I could do yoga and calm my crazy brain but I am a ballet dancer and that is a very structured environment.  It helps me, sometimes, to be in a class and allow the discipline of the dance form to create some structure in my mind but often it only lasts for the 90 minutes I am in the studio or for the hours I am teaching.  Once I am in my car and headed home, the crazy quilt of thoughts comes back.

With all of the recent events in the news (the marathon tragedies, the Texas explosion, the failure of gun control in the Senate, and the many, many terrible things that occur on a daily basis in every city around the globe), it's really difficult to keep a calm and still mind and to allow the universe to surrender its messages to us, the creators.

-- How do we create characters who are sympathetic if we do not have sympathy for others? 

-- How do we invent plots that do not feel trite? 

-- How do we promote messages of love and equality when all around us we see and experience hate and intolerance?

-- And should we do anything of the sort or simply write and let others invest their own meaning into our words?

I have no conclusions, no solutions. I know people who insist on ignoring what they can do nothing about and that's great for them if they can do that but writers need to examine the world beyond them at all times.  When we retreat and seclude ourselves, then our characters and their thoughts/words/actions are not real to the reader.  Nothing feels sincere if it is not based in some sort of reality.

The Next Big Thing Blog Hop!

Hey Leigh, whatcha workin' on these days?

If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me that question...I'd have a few bucks to buy some coffee!

Last week, the amazingly talented Claire LaZebnik tagged me in her Next Big Thing Blog Hop post.  Claire writes super fun YA and adult fiction. Lots of romance and humor in her books which I totally appreciate.  Because seriously, you need some love and light when life gets you down, you know?  When that happens to you, I hope you'll grab a copy of Claire's Epic Fail and get all feel-good-y.  I can remember very distinctly how I happened to meet Claire. I had read one of her adult novels and absolutely FELL IN LOVE with it! I found her on on Goodreads, connected with her there and as luck would have it, she was about to read at a bookstore near me so I got to meet her in person!

So thanks to Claire, I'm about to answer some questions about my next big thing...

1. What is the title of your work-in-progress?
"The Mystic Chords of Memory."

2. Where did the idea come from?
I am a ballet instructor and dancer and I wanted to write something with a ballerina protagonist. I also love speculative fiction!

3. What genre does your book come under?
Steampunk.

4. Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie?
For Asya, the ballerina, I would love to see Taissa Farmiga. For Jay, her soldier, I think Evan Peters.  Both are actors from "American Horror Story" and they would be perfect!

5. One sentence synopsis for your book?
A ballerina from a Russian circus meets and falls in love with a Confederate soldier during the Civil War.

6: Is your book self-published, published by an independent publisher, or represented by an agency?
I am represented but the book has not been sold yet.

7: How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?
Well, I'm still working on it! Hence the phrase, "work-in-progress"! I finished the 30K word novella in about 3 months but I'm still working on making it a full-length novel.

8. What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?
Hmmm...if you like Cherie Priest's Boneshaker, I think you'd like this.  Or Gail Carriger!  I love both Cherie and Gail!

9. Who or what inspired you to write this book?
Good writers like Cherie and Gail, actually.  I love the chances they took with their stories and I wanted to do the same with mine. It's a big risky thing, writing a book that is in a different genre than the one you are known for, but I love it!  Bring on the new and different!

10.What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?
Romance and Civil War.  Automaton ballerinas.  Horses with steam engines. A soldier who has lost everyone and everything.  And dirigibles!  Lots of dirigibles.

And now, who's next?  First is my friend, Mina Javaherbin, the author of award-winning picture books (a brand new one is coming soon but that's hush-hush! shh....!). She's also a lover of dance, which is how we connected, as well as a screenwriter and a YA writer.  What can't this woman do?  She is very funny too and super smart and a genius at sizing up a situation and making the most of it.  Love that in a person.  Check out her blog here! 

I'd also like to introduce you to Rachel Olivier, a wonderful writer and friend whom I met when my second novel All About Vee came out. Like me, Rachel loves funny cat videos and "Doctor Who" and unusual fiction but she also loves, well, love!  Romance figures very prominently in her stories which is one reason they resonate so strongly with me and her many readers.  One of my very favorite pieces of her fiction is her Christmas-themed novella, The Holly and the Ivan. Her blog is here!

Thanks again for the tag, Claire and now, Mina and Rachel, you're it!  Happy reading, everyone~

My only New Year's resolution

Fear nothing.

Until recently, most of my life has been dictated by the phrase, "Why not?" I've moved, changed colleges, explored new careers, taken and quit all kinds of jobs based on my lack of fear of change. Why not go to grad school?  Why not work in the film business?  Why not move to Los Angeles?  Sure, why not?

But lately, I have been struck with a bad case of the Fears.  I have been fearing change when it comes to my living space, the subjects and style of my writing, and the "freelance" part of my freelance career. Let's examine a few of my Fears, shall we?

I've wanted an outdoor space for just about ever but I've worried that the new place won't be as good or as cheap as what we have (the devil you know, as they say).  

I've wanted a dog for just as long but I've worried that I won't have time for one.  

I've wanted to try writing different types of stories but I've worried that I can't possibly write as well as my heroes.

I've wanted to re-arrange my teaching schedule but I've worried that my students will leave.

I can continue on for another year like this, in comfortable mediocrity, or I can bust out and get back to my roots of "Why not?" I always ask my dance students, "What's the worst that could happen if you try a step or a combination this way?" You fail? Okay, so try again. But the best that could happen would be you succeed and then you can move forward and do more things.

I really need to take my own advice: stop overanalyzing everything and just do something.  Take *a* step.  Any step in any direction.  It will be far better than being stuck in one place forever and ever. But the biggest reason to stop fearing change?  No one cares.  Let's examine that again, shall we?

NO ONE CARES.  Seriously, people care about themselves and their own families and their own lives.  They don't care about you - about me.  I don't mean this in a negative way.  I mean this in a practical way.  No one can possibly care about my life and what I do with it the way I can.  So if I try something and I fail at it, what's the big deal?  It's more likely that no one will even notice.  And that's a very freeing way to approach change. I can proclaim to the world, Hey, World! I'm gonna do XY and Z! And the world (i.e. friends and family and Facebookers) will respond with a, "Go for it!" And they'll click Like and then they move on. Because that's what people do.  They move on to the next story.  They won't even remember I told them I was doing XY and Z until I do it and tell them I did it.

So you see...No One Cares. But me. And if I'm only doing things to impress myself, then why the hell would I want to do Nothing?  Heck no.  I want to do Something and if it fails, then I'll do Something Else.

Fear Nothing. Happy 2013.

Ambitious Writing Projects; Or, the Big Idea

All writers have them.  If you love books, love the written word, love stories that suck you in utterly and completely and don't let you go, then you probably have one or two Big Ideas.  They are the stories that you have been thinking about, dreaming about, since you were a kid or first even considered writing as more than a hobby.

I have a couple of Big Ideas.  They began as tiny seeds and have grown in my imagination bigger and bigger - but they aren't quite trees yet.  They're still just sprouts or maybe saplings. In other words, I don't know when I will be skilled enough to write them.

Because that's the problem with ambitious writing projects: if you have any self-awareness as a writer, you know what you're capable of.  I, for instance, could never write a multi-generational saga like Alex Haley's "Roots" or epic high fantasy like JRR Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings." I love both of those books and I admire the hell out of them but I know I am not skilled in those areas of writing.

Some writers tackle their Big Idea over and over again.  They try it this way and that, tinkering with it in different ways, some successful, some not. They may even publish these stories over and over again as well.  For them it may be a particular character or theme that keeps them pushing forward. But I'm not like that.  I'm afraid of taking my Big (Cool) Idea and screwing it up.  I'm afraid of not having the right skills to do the Big (Cool) Idea justice. 

In recent weeks, I have been approaching one of my Big Ideas with caution. After successfully completing a novella that was miles away from what I had been writing for publication, I feel like I may be able to attempt one of my ambitious writing projects.

Interview at Count My Stars!

Elizabeth Thurmond, amazing writer and pop culture aficionado, interviewed me today on her blog, Count My Stars, for her feature, Woman Writer Wednesday!

Check it out!  Thanks so much for featuring me, Liz! I am honored to be part of your blog.

Cheers~

To thine own self be true

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Ah, Will Shakespeare can turn a phrase, can't he?  The above is from "Hamlet," Polonius to his son, Laertes.

Much has been made lately of authors writing to their young selves. There's even a collection of letters from famous authors to their teen selves, "The Letter Q."  This one is in regard to sexual orientation but there are others, plus blog posts galore, many inspired by Oprah Winfrey.

You know what I'd tell my younger self? Be true to yourself. Be honest about what you really love.  Don't waste time on things and people you don't feel passion for. It's not like I'm telling Teen Leigh to be all Goth or not to drink or want to hang out with the popular kids. But Teen Leigh definitely had a dark streak, one that she didn't think she should have - or had a right to have. In her mind, people who liked reading horror or science fiction, who imagined impossible worlds and insane characters, were people who had unusual past lives, who experienced trauma or abuse or other hardships.  Girls who grew up in middle class households and attended women's colleges, who danced and studied hard, generally and generically speaking, "good girls," didn't like those things.

For much of her life, that Teen Leigh's "preferred" thoughts prevailed and the things she liked and dreamt about were pushed aside.  She felt false a lot of the time but then the fake truth became kind of real. Until now.

While I am super proud of having been published by a big publisher and I love seeing my books on library shelves, I don't think Teen Leigh would have read them.  She haunted the stacks for creepier reads, for uneven books, messy books, stories that didn't have happy endings and whose narrators were good people who went bad. Lots of middle-aged people will tell you the same thing, "Never regret. Do what you love." That's because, when you reach a certain place in your life, you can see the end of the tunnel. You don't want to spend one minute more doing something you don't like.

Writers are told all the time that they should only write what they love. Part of the reason for that is that it takes a long time to write a book and you will spend many, many hours with your characters. But the other part of it is that you can only write passionately and honestly about things you truly love. As I explore darker elements in my stories, characters and situations that I might not have written about in the past, I am finally finding the passion that was missing.  I love what I'm writing,  I love what I'm doing.

CBS News Anchor Talks about Bullying On-Air

This is anchorwoman Jennifer Livingston of the CBS affiliate WKBT in LA Crosse, Wisconsin. In this video she confronts a cyber-bully who sent her an email telling her she was no role model because she was "obese." The man talked only about her looks, her outward appearance, she says in this video, and not about what is inside her.  She reminds us that October is Anti-Bullying Month and she reaches out to all kids who might be bullied because of their size, sexual preference, disability, etc. She encourages them to reject their bullies' definitions of them.

I love that her approach is nether strident nor a plea for acceptance.  She is frank and honest and sharp in her words.  She does not become an "emotional female" when discussing her weight; in fact, she does not discuss her weight at all. That is exactly her point: her weight is not a topic of discussion or speculation for anyone outside her family or circle of friends. Case closed.

Another very good point she makes is that attitudes like this have a trickle down effect.  When someone in your household voices the opinion that fat people are bad (or gay people are bad or the disabled, and so on), then the members of that household internalize the opinion and take it away with them.  They might go to school and see someone who is overweight, call them fat, call them bad. She turns the tables on her cyber-bully and tells him that he is no role model if this is how he talks about other people.

Like most women, I am sensitive to weight(y) issues and I am always watching certain industries in which women's weight is particularly noted, like on-air journalism, acting, modeling, and so on. I'd like to believe my characters in FAT GIRLS IN LA would respond like Jennifer Livingston does.  She not only takes the high road with dignity but delivers her message to everyone, not just her bully.