I (Heart) CT State Troopers

What a long strange trip it's been...

Oh my gosh, I can't believe I'm home in LA. First of all, the visit to the east coast felt like it was a million months long. Was it really less than 3 weeks? Wow...time flies, huh? Well, first of all, there was the Wallingford PL event, then a reunion, and a Borders event, then a trip to NYC and Jersey, then some more meetings and a podcast and a holiday and visiting with friends from Boston and family from Connecticut and I did take a few great classes at the New Haven Ballet with Noble Barker.

And then there was the trip home. We were supposed to leave Hartford at 6:30 and get into LA at 9:30. Delay #1: 7:50 departure. Delay #2: 10:20 departure. Delay #3: 11:20 departure. Final departure: midnight. Arrival in LA: 2:22AM. Arrival in my bed: 3:45AM.

But there was a chance we wouldn't have even arrived in LA were it not for a big State Trooper at the airport in Hartford. Apparently, the airline told the TSA security people they could leave and go home and shut down security at 9:30 even though they KNEW the flight wouldn't leave until almost midnight. So we (and a bunch of others) showed up - post 9:30 - and found NO ONE there to screen us. A cop directed us to the airline (who shall remain nameless because they were completely LAME) headquarters and we found a bunch of people up in arms because they were being told they couldn't board a plane that HADN'T EVEN ARRIVED YET.

What??????

One trooper showed up and basically backed the airline because what did he know? We thought all was lost. One woman with a box of pizza was near hysteria.

But then a big state trooper whose name I didn't get (but not because he was lame) showed up and said, "Wait a minute. This doesn't make sense. We'll get you on the plane." So he called TSA and they argued for a bit but he was BIG, BIGGER than them, and he made them work something out.

We had to be escorted to the security table and back and we weren't allowed to touch anyone after we were screened but I have to say, this was the best screening experience I have been through. All the TSA personnel were super-nice and they actually smiled and cracked jokes and we were allowed to bring our suitcases on board instead of checking them, which ultimately helped us for time back in LA.

The airline personnel on the plane were also super-amazing and kind and the flight was awesomely smooth. If only we hadn't arrived so effin' late, it would have been an okay experience.

Traveling today so I am wicked tired.

Remember the old movies with those romantic scenes of people flying across the country? Passengers got all duded up with hats and furs and jewelry (ok the furs are a little un-pc) and everything was so fancy? Yeah, well, those days - if they ever existed - are long past.

I don't mind paying for things like food because honestly, who needs crap food on a plane (although I must say, food on Alitalia and Virgin Atlantic is awesome - but that's overseas so they charge a lot of money for the tickets and pretty much have you captive for ten hours). I'd much prefer to bring my own snacks like veggies or crackers but a simple glass of water? On a cross country flight? You want to CHARGE me for that?

And paying for luggage? What IS air travel without your luggage? Should we ship our clothes ahead of time? HH thinks it won't be long before we all travel naked; the airlines will hand us those disposable paper gowns like they give you at the doctor's office.

Celebrity sighting in the sky!

On the flight from Atlanta to LA, HH and I sat 2 rows behind the writer Joel Stein, who has a column in both Time magazine and the Los Angeles Times. Not many people recognize writers, especially columnists, but he was wearing a little tag that said, “Joel Stein,” on it so that was kind of a gimme. I knew who he was but HH doesn’t read the paper so I had to explain.

Here's his website to give you a better idea of who he is and what he writes about.

As it turns out, Mr. Stein was playing flight attendant on our flight, making the mixed drinks or what the airline calls “adult drinks.” And for anyone who reads Mr. Stein’s columns, you know what he would do with a straight line like that. He told us over the PA system that he had been training all day so I guess he knows a little more than the rest of us!

He was wearing fashionably torn and stone-washed jeans with a long sleeved striped shirt, tails untucked, and ladies, he wears cotton briefs (couldn't tell the style but did see the elastic strip when he bent over - naughty, naughty!). Delta would NEVER let their flight attendants wear such sloppy clothes - or such unkempt hair - but Mr. Stein must have charmed them all.

I'd say he did a pretty decent job. If it were me, I would be flippin' terrified! But I do have to admit he was slow. He took soooooo long to mix drinks for people, and this is without much banter, that the cart was in the aisle next to my ear for so long I was starting to get claustrophobic. Although nervous, he covered it up well, cracking jokes when he could but being as conscientious as he could allow himself to be.

Afterward, HH and I happened to be walking from the plane next to him when HH decided to ask him where the article would be published (Time). Then Mr. Stein wanted to know how we thought he had done. We gave him 2 thumbs up (he seemed a little in need of support) and he liked that. He showed us his battle scars from his single day of intense training (he told us he had to practice with the water slide, among other things) and we replied that we were bummed it was such a safe flight and that he didn't get a chance to show off what he'd learned.

Mr. Stein liked that too.

We'll keep an eye out for his article!